On: The "Transgender Debate"

 

Some thoughts on “the transgender problem:”

Just for a second let’s assume that being transgender is a choice. Momentarily set to one side the defense that says, “but it’s been proven that…” (people don’t care about science anymore). Let’s say I CHOSE to be transgender. So what? 

“This is America”, right?  When I was a kid, we’d use the line “It’s a free country” to justify practically anything we did. If what I’m doing doesn’t hurt you, why the hell do you care? I believe that most of us are simply attempting to create a life that is as pleasant as possible. We cultivate our surroundings in a way that brings us joy. We buy things that we prefer, we work out, we go on anti-anxiety medicine, we eat our favorite foods, we get tattoos. Some of us get hair plugs, tummy tucks, or gastric bypass, or wax our body hair. These are all choices. That’s life, right? “It’s a free country!”

In an effort to be happier, I’ve been working hard to identify the things I have power to change, and I have found myself wanting to make some choices. I got my neck fixed, I took my ex to court, I fostered the kittens, I hunted for a new job (past tense - stay tuned). I fixed the things with the house that were bothering me. And, you know what? Just like everyone else, there were some things in my body that were bothering me - niggling little things that I kept trying to brush aside and discredit. My vocal pitch bothers me, my puniness bothers me, my low sex drive bothers me. There is a single medication that will fix all three of these things, with medically documented bonus effects of improving my appetite (I’ve been struggling with that for over a year), and alleviating anxiety and depression. It’s FDA approved for human consumption and has decades of clinical research. Shouldn’t I be able to take that drug?

 I have been on testosterone for one month.

“It’s unnatural” - So is curing people of cancer.

“You’re just attention seeking!” - Stop paying attention then.

“It’s just a fad!” - Fads come and go. Big deal.

“But you might regret it!” - People regret knee surgery all the time (10x the rate of “de-transitioners”, actually).

“It’s against my beliefs.” - So don’t do it. I don’t believe in the Easter bunny, but I don’t build political platforms out of it.

I’ve discussed this decision with all the appropriate medical professionals, I’ve been to support groups, I’ve talked to my close friends, and I’ve had all the shower arguments. Trust me. I’ve already thought about all these things and more.

 “What if I regret it?” - Welp, I regret plenty of things. BIG regrets. I wouldn’t take a decision like this lightly.

 “I’m not ‘trans enough’/other people need it more than me.” - It’s not a competition. I’ve never been to the ER for an asthma attack, but I sure feel better when I use my rescue inhaler. Perhaps I shouldn’t have access to Albuterol since I’m not severely asthmatic? Ridiculous! Self-abnegation is not a virtue; I should do what I can to feel better.

“I don’t deserve it when so many are losing access.” - I truly wish I could control what’s happening in the states that are denying this option to people. I’ll do what I can, but the queer community knows that the best antidote for this darkness is queer joy! If testosterone helps bring more joy to my life, I should be allowed to make that choice. Because it’s my life.

To summarize: everyone is entitled to live their lives in whatever manner they choose whether you like it or understand it or not. However, I hope that you will use your imagination, find some common ground with trans people, and try to understand that we are just humans trying to live our best lives.